Matchmaking parents

The practice[ edit ] In Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner. Both sides usually the singles themselves, parents, close relatives or friends of the persons involved make inquiries about the prospective partner, e.

A shidduch often begins with a recommendation from family members, friends or others who see matchmaking as a mitzvah , or commandment. Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services. Usually a professional matchmaker is called a shadchan , but anyone who makes a shidduch is considered the shadchan for it. After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for one another.

The number of dates prior to announcing an engagement may vary by community. In some, the dating continues several months. In stricter communities, the couple may decide a few days after originally meeting with each other. Also the age when shidduchim start may vary by community. In frum circles, especially among Hassidim , eighteen is the age when shidduchim start and shadchanim take notice.

It may also be helpful in small Jewish communities where meeting prospective marriage partners is limited, and this gives them access to a broader spectrum of potential candidates.

If the shidduch works out then the couple inform the shadchan of its success. In recent years, a number of shidduchim sites have appeared on the Internet.

Bashow[ edit ] The prospective partners either date each other or in stricter communities they go to a "bashow" [1] or sit in.

A typical bashow scene is that the young man with his parents goes to see the young woman in her house to see if the prospective couple are compatible. Both sets of parents talk to each other, and then when the setting is more relaxed, they go into another room, leaving the man and woman in the living room to speak among themselves.

Some use this opportunity to actually ask each other pertinent questions, while some just want to see if they like each other, relying more on the information they got from the shadchen or from other people. The number of bashows prior to announcing an engagement varies, as some have many bashows while others have as few as one, which is typical among the children of Hasidic Rebbes.

Bashert[ edit ] Bashert or Beshert , Yiddish: It can also be used to express the seeming fate or destiny of an auspicious or important event, friendship, or happening. In modern usage, Jewish singles will say that they are looking for their bashert, meaning they are looking for that person who will complement them perfectly, and whom they will complement perfectly. Once this permission was granted, Rebekah joined Eliezer on the road home to Isaac.

Even so, Isaac gained his own impression of her before agreeing to marry her Rashi, commentary to Genesis Regardless of whether proper procedure is followed, this is not the end of the decision - it is believed by Jews that the final say belongs to God, who may have different plans compare with the match of Jacob and Leah.

Talmudic references[ edit ] The Talmud Bavli Kiddushin 12a, first version states that academy head Rav would give corporal punishment to a man who would marry without shidduchin, that is, [3] without prearrangement by the couple. Some authorities rule according to the first version, [4] [5] while others rule according to the other two versions. The etymology of the words "shidduch" and "shadchan" is uncertain.

Targum to Judges 5: Rabbi Yochanan maintains that in the event a bat-kohen marries a non-Kohen, undesired results for the groom are likely to surface, such as poverty or the demise of the groom. An exception to this taboo is if the groom is a Talmid Chacham. When a shidduch is suggested, the candidates can phone the organisation, enter both their PINs, and find out whether their union could result in critically disabled children. Although the implementation has been controversial, there has been a sharp decrease in the number of children born with Tay—Sachs disease and other genetic disorders since its inception.


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