What its like dating someone with an eating disorder

For about two years I went through everything, from periods of not eating, to binging and on rare occasion, purging ó and I thank my lucky stars I got out of that hell every single day. An eating disorder is not an easy plight: Food is everywhere and unavoidable.

If you happen to love a woman with an eating disorder, I say to you now: For me, I felt as if I had very little control of life and I just started dealing with issues stemming from the time I was raped as a teenager.

Pair that with a deep feeling of insecurity and shame from post-traumatic memories along with repressed feelings and BAM: I was in eating disorder hell. Your woman is not starving herself or binging and purging because she wants to be perfect for you ó she wants to perfect for herself and perfectly controlled! And by the way: Until that eating disorder is conquered, she will never drop that false belief of perfection. We set up insane goals for ourselves If I can just be this weight or that size or look like this instead of this.

These are the little twisted narratives that people with eating disorders will tell themselves. Your lady is married to control. She wants things to happen in a predictable way. She wants to have the reigns over everything in her life but most especially, food. An eating disorder takes discipline and control to a whole other playing field. It takes us years to bottom out Bottoming out in an eating disorder is just as hard as with drugs. For me, I was an exception in that there was no defining event that stopped me from my eating disorder.

It simply seemed to trickle away as I found other ways to cope with my feelings of anxiety, depression, and past abuse. If I had to pin down one moment that made me stop and question what I was doing it would be this: While filming for a television shoot, I had to stop every hour on the other to take a dump.

It disrupted the whole day of the shoot, but I shook it off and figured I would stay away from laxatives Ö for a while. We may avoid sex and intimacy due to shame over our distorted body image Some people may also unhealthily cope with past sexual abuse through an eating disorder. On the flip side, your woman may be extremely sexual. She may use sex as a numbing tool in order to cope with her bad feelings about herself.

After weeks of eating a maximum of 1, calories while exercising like a fiend, I would give in to a binge. The binges were orgasmic ó sometimes better than sex another harsh truth and every single bite of food felt like someone was going down on me.

Heaven at each morsel. But the feelings after the binge? I felt like the biggest piece of crap on the face of the earth. How did I do that? Did I want to become a disgusting fat pig? Wow, what a big loser I am. Encourage us to get help If your best girl is dealing with an eating disorder, encourage her to get help.

If it takes an intervention, do it. Gather all her loved ones around and collect some treatment plan options so she has less of a chance to back out.

You should however be prepared for her to refuse treatment.

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